Spa Day!

Decided that since I'm off work pretty much every Friday this month, I was treating myself to a spa day. I've never been to this particular spa, but a coworker has and said it was great. They are also VERY reasonably priced in comparison to other spas in the area. The plan was to get a facial, but as I was perusing their web site, I stumbled across a "Chocolate Mint" package - one-hour massage, facial and pedicure for half price. Yes, please!

So I ventured into the spa today. I haven't been to a spa in about 10 years, and even then, someone else was paying for it. So I was like completely lost. The woman who did my massage and facial was great - her name was Doina. But despite how relaxed I was, my mind kept wandering as it always does. During the massage, I just kept thinking how people think that being a masseuse is glamorous, working in a spa -- all those heated tables, massage oils and warm towels. But then I got to thinking about the fact that they can't CHOOSE their clients. What runs through their heads when they get someone chunky (me) or has a lot of back hair (not me) or whose stomach keeps making funny noises during the massage letting everyone know that the turkey sandwich that you had before you came wasn't enough (me again). But then I realized that no matter what, I can't POSSIBLY be the worst client these people have ever encountered. I'm sure they have some good horror stories.

The facial was also great. I swear that she actually put warm melted chocolate on my face at one point and I totally wanted to lick it and find out. And then she kept gently poking my face, almost like I was baking and she was checking to see if I was done yet. That almost made me giggle a few times because I just wanted to make a dinging noise like the timer that goes off on the oven when it's done. Definitely not an appropriate setting for that :-). She also told me that I have a lot of tension in my neck - go figure. I gave her free reign to dig in a little harder in that area and I have no regrets.

Last came the pedicure. Emily was a trip. I apologized in advance for my feet being so beaten up. I work a part-time retail job so my feet take a pounding and when I'm at my full-time job, I'm usually wearing some sort of ridiculous heel that I'm sure I will regret later in life (just ask my mom). My toes are now a wonderful shade of Warm and Fozzie (OPI Muppet collection - look it up). Now SHE told me some horror stories about some of the clients she has had. Now I won't feel nearly quite so bad going back there the next time :-).

The Rational Voice of Reason

I'm trying to figure out when I became THAT person - the one who when people are trying to figure out how to approach a potentially sensitive subject and they aren't sure how to phrase it un-offensively. How would I put a positive spin on it? How would I say/write it so that it doesn't come across the wrong way? Have they forgotten that I'm the one with little to no filter? The one who forgets sometimes that people can see and hear me? I've encountered that several times recently and I'm still amazed. I'M A GROWN UP AND PEOPLE RESPECT MY OPINION. When in the heck did that happen? I've always tagged myself as a person with Happy Tourette's - I don't use obscene words or completely socially inappropriate comments, but heck, yes, sometimes I forget that people can hear me and I come up with lovely one-liners like the other day when I told my boss that dressing a plus-sized mannequin is like dressing a toddler. I don't always think, but at least most of the time I amuse. I know how to conduct myself appropriately in the appropriate settings (I did manage to be a supervisor/manager for several years after all), but I really don't take myself too seriously otherwise I end up turning into someone I don't like very much. Been there, done that, not interested in going back there again. But when a co-worker came to me today and asked me how I would tell someone that what they were asking for wasn't the most important thing we had on our plates at the time, I managed to come up with a pretty good alternative. Of course, what was running through my head at the time might not necessarily have been what came out of my mouth :-). But I've learned over the past five years or so how to become much more politically correct than I was in the past and for some reason people respect me for that. At least until the next time I totally put my foot in my mouth in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I've also been finding the most amazing random videos on YouTube these days. Today there was the Sweet Potato Casserole video from Flula. And earlier this week there was the boy with the iPod dancing to All I Want For Christmas Is You at the mall. I will admit that when I started hearing that song over the speakers at my part-time retail job, I also broke out into dance. Fortunately it was 5 minutes before close and there were no customers in the store. There goes that issue with not having a filter again. What's a girl to do?

Read/Google first, say dumb things later

I really do wish people would read or Google things before they post things online for the entire world to read. I subscribe to several pages on Facebook that when I read some of the things there, I REALLY want to bang my head off my laptop. Recent example, on the Lane Bryant page, there is a ridiculous debate going on as to whether their most used model is plus sized or not. Um, Google her and you will see some un-airbrushed photos of her that CLEARLY show that she isn't a size 8. Or the recent changes that Weight Watchers is making to their program. Tons of people are doing cartwheels thinking that they are going back to their old program, but if they actually READ other posts on the page, they would see that's not the case. But they continue to post comments that if they took the time to find out what is going on, they probably could avoid the embarrassment that ensues when they do post something to pages that have tens of thousands of followers.

My rule, Google first, post later. And when I respond to some of these comments, I specifically state "I GOOGLED IT" .... hoping beyond hope that some of these people will start doing that before they do something stupid. Just hoping to make the world a less frustrating place for all ...

Sincerely,
Me

They all think I'm nuts

I like my job. I like to have fun at my job. Tonight though, I'm not sure what my manager actually thinks about me. I don't take myself too seriously - once you stop having fun (as long as that having fun doesn't come at the expense of your job), things just become miserable. Tonight I had the chance to help rearrange the store - not something I got to do any of at my previous part-time retail gig. My manager values my opinion and gives me some free reign even though I have no clue what I'm doing. And I know that she's basically letting me do what I want so that she can see what I can actually do, which I appreciate. But sometimes I just stand around thinking that I have no clue what I'm doing and I just make it up as I go along.

So one of my tasks tonight was arranging a sweater table then assembling a mannequin to go with the table. I don't have much experience with mannequins other than stripping a shirt or dress off one so someone can try it on and then hopefully getting back to replacing it before someone complains to management that the mannequin is naked. Today's task involved actually assembling one - putting it on the base and dressing it from scratch. And I obviously was going about it the hardest way possible and no one told me until I made a comment that dressing a plus-sized mannequin was like dressing a toddler. My manager just shook her head and laughed, so I added "well, you know ... without all the wiggling" (she has like a half a dozen grandchildren, so she knows ...). It was more about the pants than anything - shirts and dresses are easy. Pants, not so much when the mannequin is only from neck down to mid-thigh and you have to also shove the pole up its leg and screw it into place. Comedy of errors waiting to happen, my friends. Sometimes I think that they just let me go for the pure amusement of watching me. But that's okay - they learned quickly that I don't take myself too seriously at all.

And I leave you with my other classic line from tonight's retail festivities -- the gum ball hand sanitizer from Bath & Body Works is my favorite because it doesn't leave the alcohol aftertaste like most of the other ones do ... talk amongst yourselves .....

Dancing with the Stars finale this week

I don't watch it. But there was just a commercial on for it. Rob Kardashian - good job getting out from behind your sister's shadow. Or is it sisters' shadow? Whatever.

I can thank Two and a Half Men for my love of gouda - the episode where Jake almost burns down Evelyn's house because he made her a grilled cheese sandwich with swiss, gouda and munster. Actually it was the homemade potato chips, not the grilled cheese, that almost burned down the house. Whatever.

Taylor Swift is just so darn cute. Accepting her AMA and has no idea what to say. So genuine. There needs to be more artists like that. I'm like old enough to be her mom (okay, not quite) but I still have to sing along to most of her songs when they come on the radio. Almost stole my niece's Speak Now CD a few weeks ago, too. That would just be mean though.

Watching the AMAs totally makes me want to break out Dance Central on the Xbox Kinect. And who's this chick in LMFAO? She looks like Pam Anderson. Of course, that was probably her whole point.

Took a melatonin - time for bed :-).

Random thoughts for the day ...

Seriously, if you're going to use the self-checkout lanes at the grocery store, you should have to take a test first. Either that, or people who don't know how to use them shouldn't voluntarily choose them on days when every checkout line (human or self-checkout) are 3-people deep. Unless of course you are me (I of course am completely competent when it comes to the self-checkout lanes and would pass that test with flying colors, thank you ...) with a specific item that costs $1.99 and I have a coupon that I can get it for free and I KNOW that the little computer lady is going to be confused and demand that a store employee come help her to figure out what I'm trying to do. As the guy standing in line behind me was glaring at me, I simply said "Sorry dude - it's a $2 coupon. Otherwise I'd say screw it." Hey, 2 bucks is 2 bucks. I work 2 jobs so that I can pay for my clothes shopping addiction, not groceries!

On to happier things, I <3 Starbucks for coming out with the skinny peppermint mocha. As someone who has recently lost almost 30 lbs. on Weight Watchers (with a lot more to go), I am selective as to what I spend my valuable points on. Now it doesn't matter if I get a perfectly fine skinny vanilla latte or a scrumptious yummy skinny peppermint mocha (can we tell which one a specific person might prefer??). And according to my most recent FourSquare check-in at Starbucks, I am now officially Juan Valdez. I'd hate to see what it would tell me if I actually checked in EVERY time I stopped at Starbucks. They would probably send me to rehab (queue the Amy Winehouse music).

Speaking of losing weight, someone (um, me) thought it would be a good idea to buy a 42 lb. bag of cat litter at the wholesale store instead of the regular sized one at Target. Regretted that decision the moment I had to drag it out of the trunk, across the yard and up the stairs to my apartment. Then I had the realization that I've lost almost the same amount as that dumb bag weighs and wondered how I managed to carry all that around on my body for that long. Perspective.

And congrats to Penn State for beating Ohio State today. They deserve it - those guys on the field shouldn't have to pay for the transgressions of people who didn't have the guts to do the right thing. And the folks at Ohio State seem to be okay with it. I think that having gone through their own scandal recently themselves (albeit COMPLETELY different), they can relate on a certain level. And they know what it's like to have to figure out how to start healing and rebounding.

BTW, there is absolutely NOTHING on television opposite college football on Saturdays. Probably because every channel is showing college football. Except for FX, which is showing Hancock. Why did Will Smith make that movie again? BTW, spellcheck apparently no longer considers BTW a misspelled word. BTW = no red squiggly line.

Okay, I'm ranting. I really want the Black Eyed Peas Experience for Xbox Kinect. Yes, I have issues. Time to feed the cat.

So I haven't touched this blog in about a year ...

And I'm sure no one has noticed. So today I got the brilliant idea that I'm seriously going to start posting my random thoughts. After all, why call a blog Random Serene Thoughts ... or not if you aren't going to PUT random thoughts on it?? Besides, I only have 2 followers, so no one is going to see my ramblings anyway :-).

I have issues with serif fonts. I have no idea why, and isn't this a serif font? Must consider changing that. Of course, it's been so long since I posted anything that even though I'm typing in a serif font, it may not actually post in a serif font. So forget that whole statement other than me having issues with serif fonts.

I also have some major rantings about Jerry Sandusky and this whole Penn State debacle. Too serious for this blog, but the guy is scum, he's hired a scum for a lawyer and it isn't fair that my cousin Nicole, who is a freshman at Penn State, now has the stress of dealing with campus issues that resulted from something that started when she was SIX YEARS OLD. And the drama queen in me is seriously hoping that there is a connection between this scandal and Ray Gricar, the district attorney who has been missing since 2005. MADE FOR HOLLYWOOD movie developing right in my backyard. Did you know I was born in State College? The hospital I was born in practically sits on Penn State's campus, near the dairy farm, so when you look out the hospital windows, you can see cows. No kidding - I was literally born in the middle of a cow pasture. Put that one in your back pocket to use for some trivia question about me someday.

My final random thought for the day - I'm also obsessed with this hand sanitizer that I bought that smells like gumballs. Sometimes you find this really cool stuff that smells good but then you have this lingering smell of alcohol - like the one I have that is supposed to smell like cinnamon glazed donuts. It does for about 10 seconds, and then you get that whiff of alcohol that then doesn't go away. Totally doesn't happen with the gumball one. Makes me want to lick my hands. Or chew gum. Whatever.