I work with a younger girl, not quite of the age yet where she's ready to settle down and have kids, but she wants to at some point. I tell her all of the fun stories about what happens with my boys, she laughs and says that every day is an adventure in my house, and I promise that when she's ready to have kids, I have all kinds of fun tips I can give her. So I decided to start writing some of them down before I forget. Cause you know .... I have "mommy brain."
Tip #1 - Don't plant tomato plants where toddlers can reach them. They WILL pull off all of the green ones they can reach, throw them at you and yell "BALL!" really loud. And that is promptly followed by the 10-month-old trying to eat them. I'm still waiting to find a half-eaten green tomato in the toy box sometime soon.
Tip #2 - If you can't find your cell phone, the first place you should check is the toy box - it's probably right next to the half-eaten green tomato.
Tip #3 - When you work from home, don't leave your laptop sitting in reach of anyone under the age of two. Inevitably, even if you're only gone for 10 seconds, you will get an instant message from one of your coworkers saying "You're IM to me just came through as '8r45f@%%sow(3a s@*dWO)^$F' - did you need something?" Yes, yes I do.
Tip #4 - If you slave making a wonderful meal for the whole family, they won't eat it. Keep plenty of Gerber Graduates Meals on hand. We clean out the shelves of the Meatloaf and Mashed Potatoes every time we go to Target. It's like the toddler version of crack in my house. Those and Twizzlers. And fruit snacks. B stands in the kitchen, pointing up to the cabinet yelling "nack, nack, nack" on a daily basis now. Usually just before dinner time. Which he then refuses to eat in exchange for his Gerber meatloaf and mashed potatoes.
That seems like a good place to take a break. For those of you who haven't had kids, take some time to sit back, drink a nice glass of wine, and absorb that info. And for those of you who have had kids, you're probably shaking your head and thinking "yep, been there, done that" while you're drinking a nice glass of wine. I on the other hand told that same coworker above today that my version of a bubble bath and glass of wine consists of Jake and the Never Land Pirates banana scented kids sudsy bath and a box of Juicy Juice. Nothing but the best around here.
Stay tuned for more entertaining tips from Mom ...
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